Sirius' Shiny Teeth
by SilverwingsJP
Summary: Sirius sings while brushing his teeth...the possibilities with that...


**Sirius' Shiny Teeth**

**A/N- I was extremely bored…and listening to this song. Yes, I'll be honest. I don't know why but Sirius came to my head. So, I wrote it. It's set in Harry's 5****th**** year as you will notice. Written purely for fun, not insulting Fairly Odd Parents or Harry Potter. Hope you all get a laugh out of it, even if it's just a giggle or chuckle : )**** Review please! **

_"When I'm feeling lonely, sad as I can be. All by myself on an uncharted island in an endless sea…" _

Sirius Black stared into his bathroom mirror, mouth open wide as he furiously brushed his pearly whites. White foam formed around his mouth as he sung the odd tune. He bobbed side to side as he hummed, then clumsily twirled and almost missed the sink as he spat.

_"What makes me happy, fills me up with glee, those bones in my jaw that don't have a flaw. My shiny teeth and me!" _Sirius flashed himself a bright smile and winked. He stuck the brush in his mouth again, brushing away all remnants of Mrs. Weasley's well-made dinner. _"My shiny teeth that twinkle just like the starts in space. My shiny teeth that sparkle, addin' beauty to my face." _Sirius suddenly wrinkled his nose and frowned. "No, no. That does not sound right at all! What do you think?" He stared down at the toothbrush in his hand. Sirius nodded a moment after. "I think so, too. Ahem." He cleared his throat dramatically. _"My shiny teeth that sparkle, addin' MORE beauty to my ALREADY beautiful face!"_

Sirius grinned even while he continued to brush. _"My shiny teeth that glisten just like a Christmas tree. You know, they walk a mile just to see me smile. Woo!"_ Sirius suddenly slid to the side, arms up in the air. _"My shiny teeth and me."_

Sirius had to admit he hadn't been this scheduled with his teeth brushing once he wrongfully got placed into Azkaban…He shuddered. "Ugh, the memories." Though, now that he was a relatively free man, he could brush and take care of his teeth all he pleased!

_"Yes they're all so perfect, so white and pearly. Brush," _Sirius continued to brush the molars in the back of his mouth, "_gargle,_" he spit and grabbed the glass beside the sink and gargled, "_rinse!" _Sirius spit and smiled again at the mirror. _"A couple breath mints, my shiny teeth and me…"_

He dabbed his face with a towel, ridding the white suds and water. Sirius placed his toothbrush down and reached for the small white box of floss. He opened his mouth so wide it almost seemed as though he were sneering. _"My shiny teeth so awesome just like my favorite song. My shiny teeth I floss them, so they grow to be real strong," _he sang through the string in his mouth.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Remus Lupin sat on the couch in the family room of Grimmauld Place. Tonks' excited babbling a distant drone in his ear as he randomly nodded and mumbled, "You don't say?"

_I wonder where that mutt went off to…leaving me alone like this._ Remus inwardly groaned. Yes, Tonks was enjoyable company…sometimes. What made matters worse is no one else in the room wanted to drag him away from talking of shopping and clothing. Ron and Harry were avidly playing a heated game of Wizard's chess, Hermione was reading, Kingsley was too busy _laughing _at Remus to go talk to him, and everyone else was in the kitchen helping Molly clean up.

Remus glanced towards the doorway. _Where _did _he go?_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_"My shiny teeth I love them, and they all love me! Why should I talk to you when I got 32?Woo! My shiny teeth and me!" _Sirius sang loudly into the tip of his toothbrush. Somehow he managed to slide across the bathroom floor on his knees, and was now playing a nonexistent keyboard. _"My shiny teeth and me!"_

_"My shiny teeth that twinkle just likes the stars in space. My shiny teeth that sparkle, addin' MORE beauty to my ALREADY beautiful face!" _Sirius altered yet again.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"I'm sorry, Tonks," Remus finally interrupted. "I really must go…uh…use the loo! Yes. Excuse me." He blushed at his choice of words and hurriedly got up. He jogged up the stairs, taking two at a time. "Sirius? Padfoot, mate, where are you?"

Remus stopped in the middle of the hallway. He raised an eyebrow. In the distance, faint singing was heard. Though, since Remus had the 'pleasure' of being a werewolf, his acute hearing caught that the singing voice was Sirius'.

"Oh, lord…"

Remus made his way down the hall, trying to find out where his friend was. He finally reached the door that the singing was coming out of. Remus pushed it open.

_"My shiny that glisten just like a Christmas tree! Ahhhhhhahha. You know they walk a mile just to see me smile. WOO! My shiny teeth and me! Shiny teeth shiny teeth."_

Sirius was still kneeling on the floor, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth as his fingers tapped invisible keys on his air-keyboard. He bobbled his head, sending his black hair flying about.

Remus didn't know whether to be incredibly frightened or humored. So, he opted to walk into the bathroom and tap Sirius on the shoulder.

Sirius jumped up and screamed, whipping his toothbrush out of his mouth and flailing it at Remus.

Instinctively, Remus stepped back, hands up in the air.

"Holy mother of Quidditch! What's going on?"

Both Sirius and Remus turned towards the doorway. Harry stood with a confused expression on his face, while Ron was turning red from trying to hold his laughter in, and Hermione had her arms cross while she shook her head.

Sirius narrowed his eyes and turned to Remus. "Well, I was _trying _to brush my teeth but _Remus_ interrupted me."

"Geez, no need to get so touchy, Sirius," Ron snorted, glancing from Sirius to the 'deadly toothbrush of doom'.

Sirius, realizing his arm was still held out in defense, lowered it to his side. The five stood in silence, stealing glances at the rest from the corner of their eyes.

"Well…can you all go now? I'd like to finish brushing my teeth," Sirius said, peeved.

"Erm…yeah," Remus said, leaving the bathroom. He shut the door behind him and looked down at Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

_"MY SHINY TEETH AND ME!"_

"Wow," Hermione said, rolling her eyes and walking away.


End file.
